Okay, so where to start with this blog...its going to be massive so get ready. A lot has happened in 40 days.
The first week of January I went to Passion in Atlanta. Needless to say God did some amazing things while I was there. I could get into many stories about the incredible people I met, the amazing way God moved, and more then you ever wanted to know about human trafficking. I can say that there is more slavery in the world today then ever in the history of the world. This has got to change.
On the last full night of Passion we held a candlelight vigil for the 27 million slaves in the world today. As I stood out in the freezing cold waiting for the giant monument to stopping slavery we had built to light up for the world to see, God led me to pray through specific countries. So I started to pray through countries by name, for the boys and girls, men, women and children suffering in slavery at that very moment. But as I prayed God spoke to me so clear. He asked me to pray for their captors and abusers. For if there was no evil people enforcing slavery then it would not exist. So as hard as it was I started to pray for the captors. Then suddenly God spoke again. He said clear as day "Susanna, you are just as vile and guilty and evil as the slaveholders." I broke down. My self is just as horrible as a slave trader, but God came and died for me. And He died to save them. He died to save you.
Before I went to Passion I had been considering going overseas and teaching music in a school for missionary children. I have always wanted to go overseas and teach and I figured now would be a good time. Having looked at a few things and gathering information I prayed that God would reveal to me at Passion if this was something I was supposed to continue pursuing.
Right before Thanksgiving I had applied for an elementary music teaching job at Wineteer Elementary in Derby. Even though I emailed later about it no one ever got back to me so I dismissed this job as a possibility. Well, smack in the middle of the week we were at Passion I got a phone call from the principal at Wineteer asking me to come for an interview the following week. Needless to say I think God clearly answered my prayer and told me to stop looking overseas because He wanted me right here in Wichita. Add to that the fact I discovered that Wichita is the 3rd largest human trafficking city in the United States and I knew I am needed here.
When we got back from Passion I interviewed at Wineteer. I felt that it went well, but I held the job with open hands. If it worked, great. If it didn't...well, God had a plan.
After the interview I waited a week without hearing anything. Finally, exactly a week later I got a voicemail late in the evening from the principal asking me to call him on his home phone number. I called and he offered me the position. After taking the weekend to do some further research on the job and consulting with people I trust I accepted the job on the next Monday and signed my contract a week and a half later. I will officially be teaching full time at Wineteer Elementary starting the in fall. God is sooooo good! He provides what I need just at the exact time.
I have been needing a new laptop for a while now, but haven't had the funds (or willingness to spend the funds I do have) to buy one. When I talked to HR from Derby I discovered that they will be providing their teachers this summer top of the line, brand new MacBook Pro laptops. Um...did I say God is good?
Okay, so after all this excitement happened I thought things would calm down, but nope. God had other plans. Driving home from work on Saturday (yes, the Saturday five days from when I took the job) I was involved in a car accident that totaled my car (not my fault btw. I seem to have a knack for getting hit my young, inexperienced drivers who aren't paying any attention).
Amazingly I only had some bruises and soreness. Had things happened a split second later I could have been seriously injured. Since I had just accepted this job I had decided I was going to need to get a new car. A) because I will have a long commute each day. B) because my blessed car had lasted much longer then I expected...but it couldn't last forever :-/
Well....can I say this accident forced me to get a new car? And I'm sure you can guess...but God provided the most amazing car ever in His perfect timing. My timing was waiting a few months. His timing was now. And I couldn't have asked for a better gift from him! This car is amazing and more then I could have ever asked or afforded had I been planning it all.
So there you go. In a nutshell that is my last 40 days. Of course everything has more details, more stories. I could talk for hours on everything that happened at Passion alone. I have built up some great new relationships and strengthened old ones. If you want more details ask anytime. I would love to share!!
My God is amazing and incredible and I love Him so much. His timing is always perfect if we are just willing to wait on Him. When we do He showers His children with good gifts of love. How can we do anything but serve and praise Him in return!?!?!?!?!!
Much love <3
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, November 11, 2011
A Mini Rant
Okay so here is something that drives me crazy. Why do people who think they make a lot of money buy stuff when eventually down the road all their purchases will catch up with them and they will realize they are poor with a ton of debt? Seriously! I see all these people with "real" jobs, or making way more money than me. They are buying all kinds of stuff I want to buy and getting stuff I want to have....and sure they have money for it...now. But what about later? So while I may get annoyed with those who seem to have it all, I just have to remind myself that if I "live like no one else now, I will get to live like no one else later." So watch out all you big spenders, I'm going to be so rich someday that I can give it all away to the beautiful children in Africa, and still have enough left over to go SEE THEM TOO! So BOOM!
Rant over.
Rant over.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Single and Happy?
So I've been reading this book called "If Men Are Like Buses How Do I Catch One?" Girls, this is an AMAZING book. It is written by a gal who seems to have been through a lot of issues like me. She even included journal entries that seem to have come from my personal journal. This book talks about the root of why women feel that men can fulfil our happiness, and it goes back to the fall in the garden. There is a verse in Genesis that says "her desire will be for her husband," and if read in the relationship context it means that girls are always going to think that men can satisfy them!
In this book, the author (Michelle) says that she was constantly playing the surrender game with God. You know "God I give this to you. Oh wait, I think I need to hold it for a while. Okay I give it back. Wait....just one more time..." God was so patient with her and let her fall over and over again, until she came crawling back to Him. He wrapped her in His arms and showed her that He loves her infinitely more then any man can. And 20 years later she is still single, loving it, and has her own ministry to reach out to women. Talk about God being amazing!
So the question I am dealing with as I read this book is: Is it possible to be single and happy? The answer....YES!!! You know why? Because right now everything God has given me is mine. I don't have to share my money, time, or energies with any man. If I want to go do something I do it. There is great freedom to live for God when I don't have to go through another person. Not to say that I wouldn't give it all up to have a guy, but this is the time in my life when God wants to use ME. Not us (me and a guy). ME!
There is a verse that says one is to do the task God has set for them (sorry I don't remember the reference...). In my small group we talked about just what is that gift? Michelle talks about in her book that our gifts are the things people compliment us on, the things that come so easy for us. It made me stop and think about where I am. Right now I am working an internship where I am responsible for kids, teens, young adults and organization out the wazoo. I am teaching and organizing! Two things I excel at. Add to that I'm going to school, running a private studio, and care giving for two precious boys with special needs. Am I doing the work God has set for me? I think so! I am where I am because I followed where He wanted me to be. If I am in the center of God's will then His plan is being fulfilled.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is possible to be single and happy, but only when one is fully focused on God and His will. For it is then that one can truly find joy, when one is living for God and not for self. Because God loves me more than any human can, I can be content and happy single.
Much love <3
In this book, the author (Michelle) says that she was constantly playing the surrender game with God. You know "God I give this to you. Oh wait, I think I need to hold it for a while. Okay I give it back. Wait....just one more time..." God was so patient with her and let her fall over and over again, until she came crawling back to Him. He wrapped her in His arms and showed her that He loves her infinitely more then any man can. And 20 years later she is still single, loving it, and has her own ministry to reach out to women. Talk about God being amazing!
So the question I am dealing with as I read this book is: Is it possible to be single and happy? The answer....YES!!! You know why? Because right now everything God has given me is mine. I don't have to share my money, time, or energies with any man. If I want to go do something I do it. There is great freedom to live for God when I don't have to go through another person. Not to say that I wouldn't give it all up to have a guy, but this is the time in my life when God wants to use ME. Not us (me and a guy). ME!
There is a verse that says one is to do the task God has set for them (sorry I don't remember the reference...). In my small group we talked about just what is that gift? Michelle talks about in her book that our gifts are the things people compliment us on, the things that come so easy for us. It made me stop and think about where I am. Right now I am working an internship where I am responsible for kids, teens, young adults and organization out the wazoo. I am teaching and organizing! Two things I excel at. Add to that I'm going to school, running a private studio, and care giving for two precious boys with special needs. Am I doing the work God has set for me? I think so! I am where I am because I followed where He wanted me to be. If I am in the center of God's will then His plan is being fulfilled.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is possible to be single and happy, but only when one is fully focused on God and His will. For it is then that one can truly find joy, when one is living for God and not for self. Because God loves me more than any human can, I can be content and happy single.
Much love <3
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Life After Kodaly
Unless you have been through the intense two week music training called Kodaly you will have a hard time understanding where I'm coming from. I feel like I am now a member of a family I will know for the rest of my life. As one of the girls in my class put it: "Do you remember how on the first day we timidly walked in to class and was pumped if we saw on person we knew? And now here we are a big family?!" So true. By the last day we were laughing, and singing, and just being a family. Because when you go through two weeks, 9 hours a day with people, and when every single one of you is mentally, physically, and emotionally stretched to the max....you become a family for life. I went into this class excepting to learn a music method of teaching. I left with not only music knowledge....but life knowledge.
My methodology teacher, Jo Kirk, is one of the most inspirational people I have ever met. After pulling long nights of grading our papers, she would come in each morning on 3 hours of sleep and have more energy then the 23 people in our class put together. Do you know why? Because she loves what she does. If there is one thing I learned this week, it is to have JOY in whatever I do. Mrs. Jo told us on day one "I don't teach music. I teach life, and music is my tool." I want that to be me. I want to have so much joy that I teach life through music.
It may sound nerdy, but on the last day when Mrs. Jo showed us how to connect teaching rhythm and teaching melody together, water works started when she told us this is the first time children will "see" real music. And that is why we do what we do. We couldn't stop crying as she read Eric Carle's "A Very Hungry Caterpillar" and gave us each a butterfly, telling us she was releasing us after 2 weeks in our "cocoon" where it hurt, and we wanted to quit. And now "I am releasing you beautiful butterflies into the world, to go spread the joy you have found in music." Just thinking about it makes me cry again....
And now...I'm back to life. How does one come back to life after an experience like what I just went through? I have been changed in so many ways. To know that I have all this joy and love and want to share it with students in my own classroom next year...and to know I don't have a classroom...that's hard. It makes me wonder too many things. All the questions of who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose arise. My purpose is in Christ, and to spread His love with the world. I don't know why I am here on this earth. I don't know what God has in store for me. I do know that I want to do it to the best of my ability no matter what the cost. I sacrificed everything for two weeks to gain knowledge, but He sacrificed everything to draw me to Him.
And knowing that gives me joy. The joy of knowing Christ loves me, and the joy of loving music. The joy of spreading Christ's love, and the joy of spreading music. There is nothing better in life.
Joyfully in His love,
Susanna
My methodology teacher, Jo Kirk, is one of the most inspirational people I have ever met. After pulling long nights of grading our papers, she would come in each morning on 3 hours of sleep and have more energy then the 23 people in our class put together. Do you know why? Because she loves what she does. If there is one thing I learned this week, it is to have JOY in whatever I do. Mrs. Jo told us on day one "I don't teach music. I teach life, and music is my tool." I want that to be me. I want to have so much joy that I teach life through music.
It may sound nerdy, but on the last day when Mrs. Jo showed us how to connect teaching rhythm and teaching melody together, water works started when she told us this is the first time children will "see" real music. And that is why we do what we do. We couldn't stop crying as she read Eric Carle's "A Very Hungry Caterpillar" and gave us each a butterfly, telling us she was releasing us after 2 weeks in our "cocoon" where it hurt, and we wanted to quit. And now "I am releasing you beautiful butterflies into the world, to go spread the joy you have found in music." Just thinking about it makes me cry again....
And now...I'm back to life. How does one come back to life after an experience like what I just went through? I have been changed in so many ways. To know that I have all this joy and love and want to share it with students in my own classroom next year...and to know I don't have a classroom...that's hard. It makes me wonder too many things. All the questions of who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose arise. My purpose is in Christ, and to spread His love with the world. I don't know why I am here on this earth. I don't know what God has in store for me. I do know that I want to do it to the best of my ability no matter what the cost. I sacrificed everything for two weeks to gain knowledge, but He sacrificed everything to draw me to Him.
And knowing that gives me joy. The joy of knowing Christ loves me, and the joy of loving music. The joy of spreading Christ's love, and the joy of spreading music. There is nothing better in life.
Joyfully in His love,
Susanna
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Crazy Love
I often wonder why God does what He does. I know His ways are higher then my ways and His thoughts higher then mine. Last week in Sunday School we talked about Nahum and how it paints a picture of God being a just God, a God who WILL punish sin. We talked about how sometimes it seems sin is not being punished. Sometimes we as finite humans decide to take matters of justice and punishment into our own hands. And suddenly things get messy and now we have sin in our lives. Sin that happened because we didn't trust God.
But my God is so infinite. My life is such a small, minuscule event on His timeline. I can have assurance that He will punish and He will show ultimate justice. My job is to trust in Him and to share His love to everyone; even to those I deem unworthy of love. Because who am I to judge? Everyone is worthy of love, and God is the ultimate lover.
Sometimes I wonder why people are blind to this truth. Why is it that people cannot see the unchanging, amazing, overflowing love of God? Why do they search for love? Why do they try to find satisfaction in boyfriend, after boyfriend, after boyfriend (or girlfriend)? They see men (or women) as their ultimate satisfaction. Everyone has a longing for love (which is a longing only God can fill), and instead of searching for God to fill the longing they "fill" it in people. And it is a sad fact that people will often give up anything and everything to that person just for the "security and love" they get (in quote marks because that is NOT what they get).
But my God is so infinite. My life is such a small, minuscule event on His timeline. I can have assurance that He will punish and He will show ultimate justice. My job is to trust in Him and to share His love to everyone; even to those I deem unworthy of love. Because who am I to judge? Everyone is worthy of love, and God is the ultimate lover.
Sometimes I wonder why people are blind to this truth. Why is it that people cannot see the unchanging, amazing, overflowing love of God? Why do they search for love? Why do they try to find satisfaction in boyfriend, after boyfriend, after boyfriend (or girlfriend)? They see men (or women) as their ultimate satisfaction. Everyone has a longing for love (which is a longing only God can fill), and instead of searching for God to fill the longing they "fill" it in people. And it is a sad fact that people will often give up anything and everything to that person just for the "security and love" they get (in quote marks because that is NOT what they get).
Here's the deal: "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15
It is OUR JOB! As a Christian we MUST spread Christ's love. We cannot sit back and be lukewarm and judgmental! Doing so to those who do not know, those who have not heard, it becomes a sin in our lives!
So dear friends, I guess what I'm trying to say is this: when you see someone involved in a lifestyle you do not approve of, you do not appreciate, or you even deem as dangerous and harmful...stop judging and start loving! God is the ultimate judge and His justice will be served. But the impact to change lives comes from loving with the love of Jesus. With a radical, overflowing, crazy love. And in the end...that is all that matters.
Much love <3
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Lessons from my puppy
My puppy Bella is a very persistent dog. She has this toy we call her egg. Bella can run after this egg for hours; she never gets tired. She runs her day based on playing with this toy. Every day before lunch, after lunch, at about 4:00, and after dinner she sits at the cabinet where the egg is kept. And if we don't come over to play right away she will come up to us (whoever seems to be the best pick to throw it for her..usually Daddy) and will sit next to us and paw....and paw...and paw. Then when we finally get up and ask her if she wants to play she gets sooo excited and starts jumping around. But Bella refuses to give up until someone plays with her. So here are some lessons that can be learned from this in applying them to our Christian life.
Persistance
Eager anticipatation
Taking initative
Faith
Unyielding hope
Going the extra mile to get something
Patience
Joy
Excitement
Stick-to-it-ness
And...I'll add to the list: never underestimate the power of a cute face and big blue eyes. Oh...and find a workout routine that you actually look forward to and NEVER want to stop doing ;-)
Much Love <3
Persistance
Eager anticipatation
Taking initative
Faith
Unyielding hope
Going the extra mile to get something
Patience
Joy
Excitement
Stick-to-it-ness
And...I'll add to the list: never underestimate the power of a cute face and big blue eyes. Oh...and find a workout routine that you actually look forward to and NEVER want to stop doing ;-)
Much Love <3
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
L. O. V. E.'s just a word I never learned to pronounce. (not really...that's from a song duh)
For your viewing pleasure, a note from Valentines Day last year. I have included all comments. The views and opinions of the author have not changed in a years time :-(
L. O. V. E.'s just a word I never learned to pronounce. (not really...that's from a song duh)
by Susanna Atkinson on Sunday, February 14, 2010 at 12:47am
Valentine's Day.
Those two words mean completely opposite things in basically two categories.
First Category: Those with a significant other (syn: disgustingly cute couples)
Description - For people in this category Valentine's Day is the time when in most cases, the guy is expected to show his love and care for his girl in some way. Many guys use the typical fallback of chocolate and flowers. Some grease those gears somewhere in their head and start the wheels turning to think of something crazy and exciting to surprise their girls with. Restaurants overflow with couples out to that special dinner. What I find amusing is walking into Dillon's at about 2:00pm and the flower section is entirely cleaned out and there are still men meandering around desperately trying to get a decent bouquet. People in this category know that on Valentine's Day someone very special is thinking about them and will do anything and everything they can to show how much they love and care for them.
Second Category: Those without a significant other (syn: Singles)
Description - People who fall into this category handle Valentine's Day in many different ways. Some deny that the day exists. They avoid Wal-Mart for weeks so as to not see all the candy, teddy bears and cards in flaming red, white and pink that scream out to them "YOU ARE SINGLE!" Then of course there are singles who all of a sudden decide that that cute guy at church or work is "the one" and become extremely friendly whenever he is around, just hoping that he MIGHT acknowledge they exist sometime before Valentine's Day, fall madly in love, and ask you out. These people are idiots. Other singles simply shut themselves in their house and cry their eyes out all day. Or they invite their best girlfriend over who is also single and they both sit around watching romantic chick flicks, eating chocolate and sharing a mutual understanding that life is unfair. *(However, some of these girls will watch movies like "New Moon" and decide that no one is better then Jacob. They will then spend the next 3 hours discussing everything about him from his abs to the hair gel he may use.)
Now at this point you may be saying to yourself "Susie, you are single. PLEASE don't tell me you do any of the aforementioned actions of singles." I don't so don't worry. :-) For me Valentine's Day is just another day. Its a day I've got to get through just like any other day. Besides, I've got the best Lover of all. Until He decides to bless me with an earthly Valentine, I am perfectly satisfied and content. Not to say I don't want an earthly Valentine....but that's in bigger hands then mine. :-) **Note, I can't say this year I am "perfectly satisfied and content" because I'm not. I am however, learning to TRUST in God's love and timing.**
I could go on about people on Valentine's Day cause it is actually extremely amusing. Especially those couples who got together just so they wouldn't have to spend this day single. Ya...never a good idea people. That's a disaster waiting to happen...just saying.
I have amused myself long enough. My sarcasm is starting to show.
For those of you wondering, I'll say it again: I'm happy with where I am in life right now. I just felt like being dramatic and hopefully entertaining to those who understand my sarcastic humor. You guys know who you are...you are few and far between.
I'll stop talking now.
P.S...um....don't suicide rates go up on Valentine's Day? Just saying....
Those two words mean completely opposite things in basically two categories.
First Category: Those with a significant other (syn: disgustingly cute couples)
Description - For people in this category Valentine's Day is the time when in most cases, the guy is expected to show his love and care for his girl in some way. Many guys use the typical fallback of chocolate and flowers. Some grease those gears somewhere in their head and start the wheels turning to think of something crazy and exciting to surprise their girls with. Restaurants overflow with couples out to that special dinner. What I find amusing is walking into Dillon's at about 2:00pm and the flower section is entirely cleaned out and there are still men meandering around desperately trying to get a decent bouquet. People in this category know that on Valentine's Day someone very special is thinking about them and will do anything and everything they can to show how much they love and care for them.
Second Category: Those without a significant other (syn: Singles)
Description - People who fall into this category handle Valentine's Day in many different ways. Some deny that the day exists. They avoid Wal-Mart for weeks so as to not see all the candy, teddy bears and cards in flaming red, white and pink that scream out to them "YOU ARE SINGLE!" Then of course there are singles who all of a sudden decide that that cute guy at church or work is "the one" and become extremely friendly whenever he is around, just hoping that he MIGHT acknowledge they exist sometime before Valentine's Day, fall madly in love, and ask you out. These people are idiots. Other singles simply shut themselves in their house and cry their eyes out all day. Or they invite their best girlfriend over who is also single and they both sit around watching romantic chick flicks, eating chocolate and sharing a mutual understanding that life is unfair. *(However, some of these girls will watch movies like "New Moon" and decide that no one is better then Jacob. They will then spend the next 3 hours discussing everything about him from his abs to the hair gel he may use.)
Now at this point you may be saying to yourself "Susie, you are single. PLEASE don't tell me you do any of the aforementioned actions of singles." I don't so don't worry. :-) For me Valentine's Day is just another day. Its a day I've got to get through just like any other day. Besides, I've got the best Lover of all. Until He decides to bless me with an earthly Valentine, I am perfectly satisfied and content. Not to say I don't want an earthly Valentine....but that's in bigger hands then mine. :-) **Note, I can't say this year I am "perfectly satisfied and content" because I'm not. I am however, learning to TRUST in God's love and timing.**
I could go on about people on Valentine's Day cause it is actually extremely amusing. Especially those couples who got together just so they wouldn't have to spend this day single. Ya...never a good idea people. That's a disaster waiting to happen...just saying.
I have amused myself long enough. My sarcasm is starting to show.
For those of you wondering, I'll say it again: I'm happy with where I am in life right now. I just felt like being dramatic and hopefully entertaining to those who understand my sarcastic humor. You guys know who you are...you are few and far between.
I'll stop talking now.
P.S...um....don't suicide rates go up on Valentine's Day? Just saying....
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