I have been changed...for good

(Elphaba) I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda) I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda) Because I knew you

(Both) I have been changed for good

(Elphaba) And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

(Glinda) But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both) And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda) Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba) Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both) Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda) And because I knew you...

(Elphaba) Because I knew you...

(Both) Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

Held in His hands

Why do I worry?  Why do I plan?  Why do I think I've got life figured out?  If God has taught me anything this year, He has taught me to be patient.  To wait on Him.  To breathe.

He planned for me to go to graduate school.  He planned for me to meet the most amazing adviser, who has become more like a good friend.  He planned for me to slow down and learn what it is like to not always be insanely busy.  And he planned for a certain amazing someone to walk into my life :-)

And looking at this year, I wonder why I even think I can begin to have things under control.  Because if things had been left up to me...well, it scares me to think where I would be.

But dear friends, I had to become WILLING.  I had to come to the point of "not my will, but yours."  I had to lay everything at the bloodstained feet of my Best Friend, my Jesus.  I had to trust that His ways are higher, better and incredible.  If I had not been willing, had not wanted Him to take over, I would still be floating around...angry with myself.  Angry with how I thought I could take over.  Angry with the mess I'd created.

I cannot understand a love that looks down on the dirty, disgusting, selfish me.  A love that washes away that nastiness with life-blood.  A love that gave up everything for this horrible sin just so I could receive the beauty that lay in store.  Its a love that doesn't make sense.  And so I accept it, humbly, tearfully, gratefully.

Its a love that's just for me.  And its a love that's just for you. 

Its a beautiful love. 

And its free.

Forever.