So I've been reading this book called "If Men Are Like Buses How Do I Catch One?" Girls, this is an AMAZING book. It is written by a gal who seems to have been through a lot of issues like me. She even included journal entries that seem to have come from my personal journal. This book talks about the root of why women feel that men can fulfil our happiness, and it goes back to the fall in the garden. There is a verse in Genesis that says "her desire will be for her husband," and if read in the relationship context it means that girls are always going to think that men can satisfy them!
In this book, the author (Michelle) says that she was constantly playing the surrender game with God. You know "God I give this to you. Oh wait, I think I need to hold it for a while. Okay I give it back. Wait....just one more time..." God was so patient with her and let her fall over and over again, until she came crawling back to Him. He wrapped her in His arms and showed her that He loves her infinitely more then any man can. And 20 years later she is still single, loving it, and has her own ministry to reach out to women. Talk about God being amazing!
So the question I am dealing with as I read this book is: Is it possible to be single and happy? The answer....YES!!! You know why? Because right now everything God has given me is mine. I don't have to share my money, time, or energies with any man. If I want to go do something I do it. There is great freedom to live for God when I don't have to go through another person. Not to say that I wouldn't give it all up to have a guy, but this is the time in my life when God wants to use ME. Not us (me and a guy). ME!
There is a verse that says one is to do the task God has set for them (sorry I don't remember the reference...). In my small group we talked about just what is that gift? Michelle talks about in her book that our gifts are the things people compliment us on, the things that come so easy for us. It made me stop and think about where I am. Right now I am working an internship where I am responsible for kids, teens, young adults and organization out the wazoo. I am teaching and organizing! Two things I excel at. Add to that I'm going to school, running a private studio, and care giving for two precious boys with special needs. Am I doing the work God has set for me? I think so! I am where I am because I followed where He wanted me to be. If I am in the center of God's will then His plan is being fulfilled.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is possible to be single and happy, but only when one is fully focused on God and His will. For it is then that one can truly find joy, when one is living for God and not for self. Because God loves me more than any human can, I can be content and happy single.
Much love <3
Friday, June 24, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Life After Kodaly
Unless you have been through the intense two week music training called Kodaly you will have a hard time understanding where I'm coming from. I feel like I am now a member of a family I will know for the rest of my life. As one of the girls in my class put it: "Do you remember how on the first day we timidly walked in to class and was pumped if we saw on person we knew? And now here we are a big family?!" So true. By the last day we were laughing, and singing, and just being a family. Because when you go through two weeks, 9 hours a day with people, and when every single one of you is mentally, physically, and emotionally stretched to the max....you become a family for life. I went into this class excepting to learn a music method of teaching. I left with not only music knowledge....but life knowledge.
My methodology teacher, Jo Kirk, is one of the most inspirational people I have ever met. After pulling long nights of grading our papers, she would come in each morning on 3 hours of sleep and have more energy then the 23 people in our class put together. Do you know why? Because she loves what she does. If there is one thing I learned this week, it is to have JOY in whatever I do. Mrs. Jo told us on day one "I don't teach music. I teach life, and music is my tool." I want that to be me. I want to have so much joy that I teach life through music.
It may sound nerdy, but on the last day when Mrs. Jo showed us how to connect teaching rhythm and teaching melody together, water works started when she told us this is the first time children will "see" real music. And that is why we do what we do. We couldn't stop crying as she read Eric Carle's "A Very Hungry Caterpillar" and gave us each a butterfly, telling us she was releasing us after 2 weeks in our "cocoon" where it hurt, and we wanted to quit. And now "I am releasing you beautiful butterflies into the world, to go spread the joy you have found in music." Just thinking about it makes me cry again....
And now...I'm back to life. How does one come back to life after an experience like what I just went through? I have been changed in so many ways. To know that I have all this joy and love and want to share it with students in my own classroom next year...and to know I don't have a classroom...that's hard. It makes me wonder too many things. All the questions of who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose arise. My purpose is in Christ, and to spread His love with the world. I don't know why I am here on this earth. I don't know what God has in store for me. I do know that I want to do it to the best of my ability no matter what the cost. I sacrificed everything for two weeks to gain knowledge, but He sacrificed everything to draw me to Him.
And knowing that gives me joy. The joy of knowing Christ loves me, and the joy of loving music. The joy of spreading Christ's love, and the joy of spreading music. There is nothing better in life.
Joyfully in His love,
Susanna
My methodology teacher, Jo Kirk, is one of the most inspirational people I have ever met. After pulling long nights of grading our papers, she would come in each morning on 3 hours of sleep and have more energy then the 23 people in our class put together. Do you know why? Because she loves what she does. If there is one thing I learned this week, it is to have JOY in whatever I do. Mrs. Jo told us on day one "I don't teach music. I teach life, and music is my tool." I want that to be me. I want to have so much joy that I teach life through music.
It may sound nerdy, but on the last day when Mrs. Jo showed us how to connect teaching rhythm and teaching melody together, water works started when she told us this is the first time children will "see" real music. And that is why we do what we do. We couldn't stop crying as she read Eric Carle's "A Very Hungry Caterpillar" and gave us each a butterfly, telling us she was releasing us after 2 weeks in our "cocoon" where it hurt, and we wanted to quit. And now "I am releasing you beautiful butterflies into the world, to go spread the joy you have found in music." Just thinking about it makes me cry again....
And now...I'm back to life. How does one come back to life after an experience like what I just went through? I have been changed in so many ways. To know that I have all this joy and love and want to share it with students in my own classroom next year...and to know I don't have a classroom...that's hard. It makes me wonder too many things. All the questions of who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose arise. My purpose is in Christ, and to spread His love with the world. I don't know why I am here on this earth. I don't know what God has in store for me. I do know that I want to do it to the best of my ability no matter what the cost. I sacrificed everything for two weeks to gain knowledge, but He sacrificed everything to draw me to Him.
And knowing that gives me joy. The joy of knowing Christ loves me, and the joy of loving music. The joy of spreading Christ's love, and the joy of spreading music. There is nothing better in life.
Joyfully in His love,
Susanna
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