So I've been reading this book called "If Men Are Like Buses How Do I Catch One?" Girls, this is an AMAZING book. It is written by a gal who seems to have been through a lot of issues like me. She even included journal entries that seem to have come from my personal journal. This book talks about the root of why women feel that men can fulfil our happiness, and it goes back to the fall in the garden. There is a verse in Genesis that says "her desire will be for her husband," and if read in the relationship context it means that girls are always going to think that men can satisfy them!
In this book, the author (Michelle) says that she was constantly playing the surrender game with God. You know "God I give this to you. Oh wait, I think I need to hold it for a while. Okay I give it back. Wait....just one more time..." God was so patient with her and let her fall over and over again, until she came crawling back to Him. He wrapped her in His arms and showed her that He loves her infinitely more then any man can. And 20 years later she is still single, loving it, and has her own ministry to reach out to women. Talk about God being amazing!
So the question I am dealing with as I read this book is: Is it possible to be single and happy? The answer....YES!!! You know why? Because right now everything God has given me is mine. I don't have to share my money, time, or energies with any man. If I want to go do something I do it. There is great freedom to live for God when I don't have to go through another person. Not to say that I wouldn't give it all up to have a guy, but this is the time in my life when God wants to use ME. Not us (me and a guy). ME!
There is a verse that says one is to do the task God has set for them (sorry I don't remember the reference...). In my small group we talked about just what is that gift? Michelle talks about in her book that our gifts are the things people compliment us on, the things that come so easy for us. It made me stop and think about where I am. Right now I am working an internship where I am responsible for kids, teens, young adults and organization out the wazoo. I am teaching and organizing! Two things I excel at. Add to that I'm going to school, running a private studio, and care giving for two precious boys with special needs. Am I doing the work God has set for me? I think so! I am where I am because I followed where He wanted me to be. If I am in the center of God's will then His plan is being fulfilled.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that yes, it is possible to be single and happy, but only when one is fully focused on God and His will. For it is then that one can truly find joy, when one is living for God and not for self. Because God loves me more than any human can, I can be content and happy single.
Much love <3
your words are beautiful... I love that you open you heart so much and that you are doing what God is calling you to do... i'm so very proud of you!. and you are so right.. you can be happy and single and that being in center of God's will is where we should be. thanks for being so real and raw with your writing and sharing your heart. i love it!
ReplyDeleteFound your post on facebook!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your perspective! I know I probably got married "earlier" than most people, but I'm looking back (and forward) and understanding God's reasons for that.
I won't delve into those reasons, but I will echo what you said about being single and having much more freedom, which you were exactly right about!!
I think that came as a shock to me after we got married because I had been SUCH an independent person, and didn't realize just how much of that independence and selfishness I was going to have to give up. It was a challenge for me to overcome some of those things during the first several months of our marriage.
But you're definitely right--use this time to grow your relationship with the Lord, and focus on the things He's given you to do now! Travel too!! Because I didn't get to do much of that at all, and now I'm married, with a kiddo on the way and not much hope of ever traveling outside the US any time soon....(although, I don't regret how my life has panned out!!)
I have met some single women who are older too, and have kind of let that regret of being single turn into an outward, observable bitterness. To the point where she treated me differently after I was married. Just don't let singleness turn into a bitterness that spoils your relationship with women of all kinds (single, and married) around you! (I'm not accusing you of this, lol, just pointing out what I've seen....)
You are SO much more capable of doing more work for the Lord right now than I am, so stick to it and see what He brings for you to do! It will be so fulfilling!
Your post was very encouraging, you should write a book too!
ps--did you ever read any of rebecca st. james' stuff?
::Leah J.::